See through

People that talk just to hear their own voice annoy the shit out of me. I know that I'm very opinionated but I also know when to keep my mouth shut.

Today at work I listened to two men blah about buying up ammunition for the end of the world (which they are convinced will happen in 2012, start buying guns and ammo now!) I turned to my boss and said, "Really? I bet I could walk faster than both of them and they'd make a nice feast. Throw that shit on the spit and call over the cannibal neighbors of the Apocalypse."

Then I come home to listen to a podcast that happens to be two people loving to sound of their own voices, too.

Oh well, at least I was getting paid to listen about the end of the world and it's my own fault wasting my time with the podcast. I guess it did get me writing again. Maybe the rum helped, too.

But hell, I might as well keep going. Cute couples make me sick. I know it's only because I'm jealous, which isn't fair (I've been in a relationship for over three years). People at the coffeeshop stand on the phone sweetly asking the person on the other end of the line, "Hey babe, what kind of coffee do you want? How many sugars, sugar? Okay, I'll be home with it soon. Love you." When am I going to get a call like that? I am a pretty nice person. I do anything for the people that matter to me (especially my significant other) but I feel that I should get something in return. Even an "I love you", but it never happens (unless my mother is drunk).

I feel like I'm in love with someone that will not and cannot love me in return. It's the worst feeling in the world.

Ranting

I don't know how to start. First, I just finished a slutty book. As someone told me yesterday, the brain needs junk food too. The book was interesting but poorly written. The whole plot was so contrived that there were elements of history woven in with murder, drug addition, and sex. SLUTTY!

I also found an amazing podcast. The New Yorker: Fiction has an author published in the New Yorker introduce and discuss a short story from the archives. The reader that reads the stories is great, has just the right amount of emotion so you can hear it and stay interested. I listened to two while walking Ruby today. Too bad I don't have a pair of headphones so she can listen, too (haha).

The hardest part of my day occurred when I confronted my mom about her drinking problem while she was pouring herself a drink. I'm hoping that my emotions didn't put her too much on the defensive so that she will consider helping herself. She did call me to say that she is willing to work on her problem. Which is a good start, but I hope she isn't just saying what she thinks I want to hear.

Now my boyfriend is going out for drinks with the guys that he just spent a three day weekend with instead of just coming home. This kind of bothers me. He knows that I'm in a rough patch of life and he thinks it is more important to go out for drinks than to come be with me. Maybe he is just avoiding being around me because I am a downer at the moment, but I don't think that that is fair.

Whatevs.

Security

Wow.  It's been awhile, but here I am.  

Let's start right in...

The other day I was thinking about security.  I mean, I saw Obama when he came to Lafayette and he was surrounded.  After he spoke, he went around the railing to shake hands.  Along with him were four guys, two going before him and two behind him.  These men were scanning the crowd, like they would be able to see anything happen.  Everyone had to go through security just to get into the place anyway.

The next week I went to a free Roots show.  There wasn't any security; I saw people there with book bags.  Members of the band ran through the crowd without any security.

So what's the difference between a political superstar and a musical superstar?  Wouldn't it be a tragedy either way?  I know that some people care more about music and the music scene than about politics.  Should musicians have a security team too?

More thoughts to come.

First thing is first

I'd like to say that I feel that today has been quite productive. I learned about pyramids. I didn't know much about pyramids. Now I know a little. I'll know more, much more, in the course of time.

Shadow in the Shadows

Shadow in the Shadows
Originally uploaded by qwend.

I love my brother's cat!!! She reminds me that it's ok to laugh at misfortune.